Why self-abandonment is not the same thing as love

In a world where people are struggling to find the energy and bandwidth for the many responsibilities we are called to take on. It can be easy to put yourself last because somewhere along the way, you were taught that prioritizing your needs and wants was selfish.

What you learn instead is to overextend, over-give, over-accommodate, and ignore your own internal signals and yourself. Ignoring your needs can become so normalized that the exhaustion you feel is normalized, your body starts to break down, and eventually you crash, leading to chronic health problems such as chronic tension, fatigue, emotional numbness, and disconnection from desire, joy, and lack of motivation.

Here are some ways to start to put yourself first or recognize that it is time to work on yourself. Rest, say no without guilt or explanation. Remember: "no" is a full sentence. Reach out for support when needed, be honest with yourself instead of overperforming. Acknowledge when you are exhausted rather than minimizing your needs.

Although the list is short, there is power in learning to use these skills, and over the coming weeks, we will discuss in more detail how to develop and use these tools efficiently.